How to Handle the Toughest Times in Life: Lessons from My Own Journey
Life has a way of testing us when we least expect it. Whether it's a personal crisis, a career setback, or a life-altering diagnosis, these moments can shake us to our core. But as I’ve learned through my own journey, it’s in these moments that we uncover our true strength.
In November 2021, I was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune disease. It was a moment that turned my world upside down. I found myself in an oncology department, facing uncertainty, fear, and a future that seemed beyond my control. But it was also during this time that I discovered something powerful—the ability to lead myself through adversity with the same servant leadership principles I had spent years teaching others.
Today, I want to share the key strategies that helped me navigate my toughest season. Whether you're facing health challenges, career obstacles, or personal struggles, these lessons can help you push forward with resilience, purpose, and strength.
1. Embrace the Power of Perspective
In our darkest moments, it’s easy to focus on what we’ve lost. But true strength comes from shifting our perspective—from asking, “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I learn from this?”
When I was first diagnosed, I could have easily let fear and frustration consume me. Instead, I chose to see the experience as an opportunity—to grow, to inspire, and to write my first bestselling book, Learn to Lead by Serving. What challenge are you facing right now? How can you reframe it as an opportunity for growth?
2. Control What You Can, Let Go of What You Can’t
Adversity often brings uncertainty, and the truth is, we can’t always control our circumstances. But we can control how we respond.
I had no control over my diagnosis. I couldn’t change my health overnight. But I could control my mindset. I could choose to fight. I could choose to keep serving others, even from a hospital bed. The moment we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and start focusing on what is within our power, we reclaim our strength.
3. Surround Yourself with the Right People
Hard times will reveal two types of people in your life—those who lift you up and those who drain you. Choose wisely.
During my battle, I leaned on the people who poured encouragement, faith, and positivity into me. I surrounded myself with mentors, friends, and family who reminded me of my purpose. Who’s in your corner? If you’re struggling, don’t isolate yourself. Seek out those who will walk beside you, encourage you, and push you forward.
4. Keep Moving Forward—One Step at a Time
When life gets tough, it’s tempting to shut down. To let fear and doubt paralyze you. But progress doesn’t have to be massive—it just has to be consistent.
There were days I didn’t feel like writing, coaching, or speaking. But I committed to taking one step every day. Whether that step was writing one page, encouraging one person, or simply choosing to show up with a positive attitude, I kept moving forward. Step by step, I found my way through.
What’s one small action you can take today to move forward? It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be something.
5. Find Purpose in the Pain
The challenges we face aren’t just obstacles—they’re opportunities to inspire, teach, and lead others.
I chose to turn my struggle into something meaningful. I wrote a book that has helped countless leaders grow. I use my experience to inspire others who are going through tough times. And I continue to serve because I believe that our greatest struggles often lead to our greatest impact.
What if the adversity you’re facing right now is meant to shape you into the person you’re destined to be? What if your struggle is preparing you for something greater?
Final Thoughts: You Are Stronger Than You Think
No matter what you’re facing right now, I want you to know this—you are capable of overcoming it. You are stronger than you think. And when you come out on the other side, you will be wiser, more resilient, and more prepared to lead than ever before.
Life’s toughest times aren’t meant to break you. They’re meant to build you.
So take a deep breath, take one step forward, and remember—your story isn’t over yet.
Stay strong. Keep leading. And never stop pushing forward.